Wednesday, 2 October 2013

State Of Me

So I recently posted on my FB about stopping my Hemmingway Impression.

For those who don’t know hes an early 20th century writer who tried to drink himself to death.  I wasn’t trying to drink myself to death, but I was experiencing something along those lines.

So this weekend got really weird for a variety of reasons, but eventually a friend said, “I don’t like you when your drinking all the time.”

And I realized that I didn’t much like me when I was drinking all the time.  So I have resolved to stop drinking all the time. 

But lets talk about why I was drinking all the time, I have a variety of different stupid reasons for doing so.  I could talk about how my father went crazy last year, and how that screwed me up.  I could talk about how I think I might have fallen someone who has no idea, and because of that I long ago broke my promise to never be that guy who fell for unrequited love.  I could talk about all the other stuff near and far.  How I like the taste of rum.  I do.  I wont lie about that.  The fact that I grew up as never being one of the guys, and that now I am I like my status, as being somehow cool, and that maybe contributing.  

But heres the real reason I drink.  To make myself stop thinking all the time.  You see I think all the time, about all sorts of stuff.  Life, death, work, writing, being in control, never taking more than calculated risks what have you.  Im always thinking, and much like Sherlock Holmes took morphine to sharpen his mind during the downtimes, I took alcohol so I could deaden myself a little and lose control and not be so responsible all the time. 

Anyways so for the month of October, Im not having anything at all to drink.  Im just going to be sober old me. 

Does that mean that I wont get drunk anymore.  I still plan to get smashed on my birthday, and I certainly be having my fair share of drinking at conventions and other socially appropriate events (a future 'Man Night' but not if its in October)(.  But for now I need to take a break.




The girl, is not one of my twitter followers.  That leaves you two billion guesses.

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